I See Us Traveling Together.

Dear Monsieur Bourdain,

I understand you are a celebrity, like Gordan Ramsey, who I have seen cook more than you, and who you are not un-fond of. As you both are potty-mouths, I can understand the kinship; Also I recognize that a certain turrets-esque tempermentalness can often go hand and hand with virtuoso talent, therefore, I salute you!! I would like to be your best friend! I would dare ask to be your "companion" for your next culinary adventure.

About me. My taste buds are small and few, and have been blunted by years of strong coffee and cigarettes. Nevertheless I enjoy food of all kinds, and as you can imagine, my ass has become quite large as a result! (We may need extra burros or yaks to tote it if our adventure takes us to Himalayas or similar.) I have a deep appreciation for native food, which I cook, natively in fact, within my kitchen every day, authentically!

Dear Anthony (may I call you Anthony?), I confess I have read your wikipedia articles, and along with many other exciting informations regarding your "skills" and "interests" I have noticed your birth date, and that your are a "Moon Child". For that reason it is with great assurance I tell you that my zaftig appearance is as cozy as my demeanor, for even when packing light, I carry "cozy" with me where ever I go! I am sure this will fit right in with whatever usual preparations you make when going far afield, and we shall always feel right at home, even in the wilds of Tokyo!

Finally, I want to mention that I am a natural divining rod for street food. I am fearless in the face of grease laden cart-grills or insulated push trolleys, and that viral germs which are capable of laying triathlon athletes on the floor in misery either run when they "see me coming", or otherwise agree with my "system" just fine. I don't want you to think I might be sick on film.

Very Best Regards,
JPM